Welcome, welcome to a house full of guests,
this is my forfeit, it”s what I do best. I love the hosting, the planning but hardly ever do I sit back and take it all in and soak up some of that pride and joy that is overdue and without doubt mine for the taking. Successful cheer and laughter, I am in my element. Everything runs smoothly and without chaos. I am loving this manic rollercoaster but struggle to get off at the stop. The buckle won”t come loose. I am so tired yet sleep has never once crossed my mind. The anticipation for my descent is forming a heavy dark cloud over my head, I”m scared. I struggle to breathe, I need to sleep this off, I need to not feel this way. I am sick, I am hurt, I am lonely, I am despondent, I am insecure, I am doomed, I am tired – and even though I feel a thousand different feelings, one will always rise above – I am numb